IF YOUR UNDER TEN DO NOT READ.......
its a foregone conclusion on my part that you are a grown up human being to be reading this, i believe in Santa clause, their ive said it, how can i justify this you ask, well i cant can i, i am not a nut, well i might be be, but thats another story.
my belief in santa is no more than a personal observation of the human race around the portsmouth area (where i currently live), its just like the films currently showing on Christmas 24 (other channels are available )
people are a little kinder they smile a little more, (unless your in a queue at matalan ) (other stores of a controversial nature are available )
i think the following is a viable theory
santa comes around at the end of October with a thin film of Christmas dust, this film is only absorbed by the few who are susceptible to the magic of Christmas, ignoring the possible pagan rituals of Halloween and the man who wanted to alter the history regarding government.
he pops around again at the start of December with a concoction a little stronger than the last trip,whats the evidence of this i hear you ask, well you tell me, do the kids not get excited, are the company warnings of inappropriate behavior at the Christmas party not circulating the e-mails or memos (for old fashioned people) are you not looking forward to the 25th December (i am)
its now as my daughter calls it, Christmas eve eve, yes just 27 hours away from the golden hour (depending on where you are on this globe of ours),and i am excited, it could the the Glenmorangie (thanks sharon & arron) it could be the friends in the close dropping cards through the door, it could be sky bashing films at me, it could be ive got 5 days off, whatever the reason or cause its something special, something i believe is all down to the magic dust, go on prove me wrong (i wish you well and a very merry Christmas and a happy new year)
Sunday, 23 December 2012
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Killing me softly
When I first agreed to get a passport and travel I never imagined the benefits to my health that were on the way, Spanish weather is benifisal to my health I'm told, I didn't believe it, I will have to be they for years, oh how wrong I was, the atmosphere is dry even when it's raining, how contradictory is that, like someone who's just been to brother loves ,I walk fine, no hip back or neck problems ,what am I talking about then, we'll the down side is wifey likes to walk and walk and walk and look in the shops and walk some more, this leads to a very odd situation, we go all inclusive so it's seven days three rather nice meals a day and I have to admit more alcohol than the twenty one units a week recommended , just got back and for third holiday in a row I've lost over five pounds in weight, that's almost a stone that only leaves 39 more holidays and ill waste away, oh I should live so long
Saturday, 31 March 2012
wot no broadband
Thursday 22nd march 2012, a day just like any other day, all was well in my world, it was 3:30 am a little early to rise even for me but hay ho,i made the first brew of the day sat down in front of the 42 inch monitor ( i know ive said that before) switched on and oh dear the routers gone haywire, that's it life as we know it has ended, no broadband, no fast repartee with life from other continents, no Facebook, twitter, or path, i have to rely on the phones 3g for the latest news from the four corners of this ever decreasing planet of ours, still i convince myself no problem, just reboot the routers firmware and i will be up and running in no time, how wrong was i, firmware upgrade failed, factory reset failed, claw hammer failed, new router required, the process of getting a new one was to say the least frustrating, ten long days later i have it, gold dust in my grubby mitts, setting up the new router was a piece of cake,plug it in and away it went, well apart from the new pass word being put into 2 wireless receivers (sky anytime and smart tv, im such a gadget freak)three phones including my daughter who just loves to use my bandwidth when shes home,ipad and extra laptop (just in case).
i then got to thinking how many people have i laughed at with the very same predicament (boy do i love spell check) what on earth are they upset about, no broadband, their,s more to life than worrying about internet access, uuumm i bet a few of you are thinking the same, do you remember 56k modems, e-mails two minutes each, audio files, ten minutes, video or as we ole folk say, films, took longer to download than cook eat and wash up two Sunday lunches, or a couple of trips to wetherspoons for the more affluent of you, but i digress again, video streaming, bbc iplayer 4 on demand, itv, sky go, tv catch-up,youtube, to name but a few,their for all with the wonder of broadband, the last router went for 61320 hours i wonder how long this one will last, right gotta go now time to listen to the omnibus edition of the archers, (i think i missed Tuesdays)for my foreign readers that is an everyday story of country folk, i love my broadband.
i then got to thinking how many people have i laughed at with the very same predicament (boy do i love spell check) what on earth are they upset about, no broadband, their,s more to life than worrying about internet access, uuumm i bet a few of you are thinking the same, do you remember 56k modems, e-mails two minutes each, audio files, ten minutes, video or as we ole folk say, films, took longer to download than cook eat and wash up two Sunday lunches, or a couple of trips to wetherspoons for the more affluent of you, but i digress again, video streaming, bbc iplayer 4 on demand, itv, sky go, tv catch-up,youtube, to name but a few,their for all with the wonder of broadband, the last router went for 61320 hours i wonder how long this one will last, right gotta go now time to listen to the omnibus edition of the archers, (i think i missed Tuesdays)for my foreign readers that is an everyday story of country folk, i love my broadband.
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Old I'm not old
Fifty blah blah years ago i started a journey that was to take the rest of my life, a journey we all take, for some a journey that lasts no longer than a few minutes , weeks, or years, these short journeys will affect other journeys being made, but i digress.
in my teens i thought as we all do that i was immortal, getting old wont happen to me, the stomach cramps i had as a young boy had subsided into the occasional episode, not getting in the way of being a teenager, but i was convinced i would not grow old, 20s 30s 40s all gone and now the fifty's are going down the pan faster than last nights vindaloo.
latlely ive started to think maybe im getting old, the body wont do what i want sometimes, the back has decided i cant touch me toes any more, well not from a standing start, im still smoking much to my own disgust let alone yours, the weight is coming off but that's more to the diabetes than my own efforts, yes you heard correctly i am a diabetic, how you ask, old age says my diabetic nurse, (last week id never heard of them) who says im diabetic i ask , the NHS that's who, give 2 blood sugar tests above the magic number of 7 and your trapped forever with the label diabetic, it doesnt matter how well you control it with diet your a diabetic, fine says i, staple the label on my forehead, tattoo my arse if you wish but" I AM NOT OLD", im just not as young as i used to be.
In the doctors waiting room i sat next to a young mother who was waiting to see the doc with a six week old baby daughter (how do i know this, i talked to her, i will talk to anyone) the baby was looking lovingly at her mum (as was i) and i realized this waiting room held the full spectrum of life, from this baby to the old lady with the walking wheels, with me somewhere in between, but in the upper end of the scale, im well past laying on my back looking at my mum while filling my nappy, ( nappy filling my well return one day) and certainly not ready for walking wheels or a zimmer frame, i know i will never play for England or run in the hundred meters but i will say it again I AM NOT OLD.
Fifty blah blah years ago i started a journey that was to take the rest of my life, a journey we all take, for some a journey that lasts no longer than a few minutes , weeks, or years, these short journeys will affect other journeys being made, but i digress.
in my teens i thought as we all do that i was immortal, getting old wont happen to me, the stomach cramps i had as a young boy had subsided into the occasional episode, not getting in the way of being a teenager, but i was convinced i would not grow old, 20s 30s 40s all gone and now the fifty's are going down the pan faster than last nights vindaloo.
latlely ive started to think maybe im getting old, the body wont do what i want sometimes, the back has decided i cant touch me toes any more, well not from a standing start, im still smoking much to my own disgust let alone yours, the weight is coming off but that's more to the diabetes than my own efforts, yes you heard correctly i am a diabetic, how you ask, old age says my diabetic nurse, (last week id never heard of them) who says im diabetic i ask , the NHS that's who, give 2 blood sugar tests above the magic number of 7 and your trapped forever with the label diabetic, it doesnt matter how well you control it with diet your a diabetic, fine says i, staple the label on my forehead, tattoo my arse if you wish but" I AM NOT OLD", im just not as young as i used to be.
In the doctors waiting room i sat next to a young mother who was waiting to see the doc with a six week old baby daughter (how do i know this, i talked to her, i will talk to anyone) the baby was looking lovingly at her mum (as was i) and i realized this waiting room held the full spectrum of life, from this baby to the old lady with the walking wheels, with me somewhere in between, but in the upper end of the scale, im well past laying on my back looking at my mum while filling my nappy, ( nappy filling my well return one day) and certainly not ready for walking wheels or a zimmer frame, i know i will never play for England or run in the hundred meters but i will say it again I AM NOT OLD.
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