First ever holiday

First ever holiday

Well that's not exactly correct as you will see,many months ago I was sitting one Saturday or should I say sabado as we are going to Spain, anyway one saturday afternoon at the computer monitor (well actually it's a 42" wide screen but I digress

And brag) when my wife of 38 years and counting pipes up, "are you going to get those passports any year soon" yes of course I am I reply ( when he'll freezes over my mind replys oh so quietly) ( because she is a witch and can hear every thought as if it were sent to her as an SMS ) ,

You see I'm sooooooo afraid of flying, it's an erational fear as I have managed it 3 times when I was young well 20 , twice I was drunk and once drugged or was it the other way round I'm not sure, I kow it's erational as a few people do it every day ( reliable as ever google tells me 625000 at any one time are in the air) everyone tells me I am going to be fine I know that   More chance of getting hit by a car. I know that   Planes are safer than they ever were I know that as. Well   What I don't know is did my plane get a good service at halfords when it last went in , did it get hit by a car when it was parked up last night, is the fuel ok ( no red diesel I hope)

It is the wife's first holiday outside the uk ( we did go to jersey a couple of times but that's not abroad ) and I am doing my best to enjoy the moment but it is sooooooo hard to get in the mood, I'm trying to learn a few words of the local lingo, I was under the impression if you knew all the verses of viva espania that would do, but apparently not, I'm now told learn a few words you will get treated better, does the fact I'm paying for a  4 star holiday not mean I've already earnt enough brownie points to be treated like take that on tour ( on second thoughts no ) as the food is buffet (yes even at 4 star level) I'm not going to get a proper cooked egg, you know runny and wet as opposed to brown edged and a yolk you could put windows in with, I'm digressing again

I'm not alone in the fear, there is whole host of famous people including David Bowie, Doris day, whoopi Goldberg , Rtchie valens, although in ritchies case it was justified he died in the crash with buddy Holly and the big bopper , statistics will tell you deaths in 1972 was 3214 in 2010 that figure had dropped to 130, I still don't feel any better.

However the fear of flying doesn't get close to the fear of my misses when she gets something in her head, so I'm going to do it, it will be safer than staying at home ( I HOPE)